It's time to start living again. I admit, I took a little time for myself. I just needed to clear my soul before I start another year. I needed to cleanse my heart by writing out every single emotion. So that now, I can be ready, I can continue being the person I know I can be. It was just so hard to start again, it still is. I'd never admit it in person, but it takes a lot more effort than you imagine. Especially for me. I thought I'd be better prepared this time around. But as I found out, I'm still the same frightened boy I was 4 years ago. Just looking around, trying to find a sense of purpose and someone to share it with...
As my mind wanders to the people I lost, the people who left, I can't help but feel like there was something more I could have done, something more I could have said. Every time I think about you, I have to remind myself that if you wanted to talk to me, you would. Maybe this is the only way we can finally stand on our own. You know, to hurt each other so much that we have no choice but to let go, maybe otherwise we never would. I fought so hard for you, you just never realised it...
We don't have to hate each other for getting older, we just have to forgive ourselves for growing up. There's so much to look forward to - other days, new days, days to come, each and everyone filled with a distinct possibility to make our dreams come true. It's sad that I'm still the guy who believes in miracles, in a happy ever-after. They say there's a time when a man needs to fight and a time when he needs to accept that his destiny is lost and only a fool would continue. The truth is, I've always been a fool...
