I'm not sure why I came here. I know there must be a reason, there always is. This time I just find it difficult to identify. I didn't meet anyone, I didn't learn anything, and I certainly didn't accomplish what I wanted to. This has never happened before. Never once have I not been able to find the purpose for what I was doing. Maybe I'm looking too hard, maybe it's something more simple this time. So I sit and wait and wonder; does an angel contemplate my fate?
I think it's time to call it quits. I've been trying to spread out, and write where I might reach a few more people. It isn't going the way I wanted. I'm starting to think this is one of those dreams again, one that's just not going to come true. I've had my fair share of those, I don't know why I thought this would be the one exception. I'm not sure how to leave it all behind. I hate disappointing people, even those I don't really know. But most of all, I'm worried this is a loss I won't be able to overcome. I admit, some things are meant to get broken, I just wish this wasn't one of them.
I need a new plan, a new goal. Winging it isn't working for my anymore. I need to be doing something more, something better. I think I need to get on a boat and set sail. I need to have faith and the strength to keep wishing, and dreaming and working towards something. This defeat is something I need to survive, even though it feels like it hurts so much more than everything I've experienced. Maybe this is what I was supposed to accept during this voyage. I tried again, and I failed better, I failed unlike anything before. But life won't break me, I won't let it. Wherever it might take me, at least she won't forsake me. And I'll be loving angels instead.
I think it's time to call it quits. I've been trying to spread out, and write where I might reach a few more people. It isn't going the way I wanted. I'm starting to think this is one of those dreams again, one that's just not going to come true. I've had my fair share of those, I don't know why I thought this would be the one exception. I'm not sure how to leave it all behind. I hate disappointing people, even those I don't really know. But most of all, I'm worried this is a loss I won't be able to overcome. I admit, some things are meant to get broken, I just wish this wasn't one of them.
I need a new plan, a new goal. Winging it isn't working for my anymore. I need to be doing something more, something better. I think I need to get on a boat and set sail. I need to have faith and the strength to keep wishing, and dreaming and working towards something. This defeat is something I need to survive, even though it feels like it hurts so much more than everything I've experienced. Maybe this is what I was supposed to accept during this voyage. I tried again, and I failed better, I failed unlike anything before. But life won't break me, I won't let it. Wherever it might take me, at least she won't forsake me. And I'll be loving angels instead.
