I will always be one of those people who look out the window instead of being in the room. It's just who I am, it's who I'll always be. I tried to change, trust me when I say that I gave it my all. I flip between personalities, communites, families, yet the fact that I'm an outsider always remains. Tell me the secret, I beg you. I'm certain some of you know. You must. Please, just enlighten me. How do I belong? How do I fit in? How do I love, without being scared to my bones? How can I live with no thought of what can go wrong? Tell me, how do I let go and just be free?
I hate it when people tell me that they can't believe I've never been in a serious committed relationship before. What's so hard to believe? I've just never been good enough for anyone. And I know it takes patience and time and effort, but there comes a phase when even trying seems pointless. I keep running into the same obstacles. And while circumstances change, the end result is always the same. Me, in my room, pouring my heart and soul into words that will never truly be read. I don't understand, I really don't. One day I was walking towards my dreams, then suddenly I got lost. And to this day, I cannot find my way back. A maze like no other, more perilous than one can imagine, and guarded by monstrosities of unequal terror. The only thing that can save me, keeps slipping from my fingers. So now I wonder, if my time will ever come.
I hate it when people tell me that they can't believe I've never been in a serious committed relationship before. What's so hard to believe? I've just never been good enough for anyone. And I know it takes patience and time and effort, but there comes a phase when even trying seems pointless. I keep running into the same obstacles. And while circumstances change, the end result is always the same. Me, in my room, pouring my heart and soul into words that will never truly be read. I don't understand, I really don't. One day I was walking towards my dreams, then suddenly I got lost. And to this day, I cannot find my way back. A maze like no other, more perilous than one can imagine, and guarded by monstrosities of unequal terror. The only thing that can save me, keeps slipping from my fingers. So now I wonder, if my time will ever come.
