Sometimes you have to be strong for yourself. You have to know and realise that you too are worthy. Worthy of other's time, of their interest, of their attention and of their love. You deserve to be put first and to feel as important as anyone else. If they don't fight for you, then they don't deserve you. If you give them more than they're willing to give you - don't be afraid to move on. You shall find better people, better friends, better lovers, who won't be afraid to be everything you need. You don't need anyone else to respect you but yourself. You don't need their approval or their praise. All you need is to be able to get up in the morning, look yourself in the mirror and not only be content with the person staring back at you, but also be able to conjure an image of the person you'll one day be - with all the mistakes and fortunes life has to offer. Because I believe that we are who we choose to be and you can't count on anyone to come and save you. You've got to go out there and bleed for your dreams. You've got to spread your wings and ...
I didn't expect to be in this constant state of flux. I know I shouldn't have hoped for calmer seas, yet it feels as if I've been riding the waves for far too long. Even after everything, all the changes I went through, the transformations of my body and soul, I am still the insecure boy who's looking for a place to belong. When I finished my last journey I was so sure I could slow down, and now it turns out, I never really stopped running. When I lay in your arms the future doesn't seem so scary, yet when we're apart, all I seem to think about is how I'll screw us up. I need to believe I am capable of handling whatever life might throw my way, because the thing is, I always have before, I just never had the courage to trust myself. It seems like such a simple notion - to know with all your heart that you can endure, but for me that has been a life long battle, one I have yet to lose, but fear the most. Because once I fail, once it finally dawns upon me that I'm not meant to reach the stars, that's the day I won't survive.
