Monday, October 13, 2014

Baptise my soul...



I cannot shake this god-awful feeling that I'm not doing enough. I should have days filled with more to occupy my mind - not drift from story to story, hardly taking the time to live the life I was given, but instead conjuring deeper layers of a life that exists solely in my mind. I am neither happy or content, neither fully committed or with one foot out the door. I am, as it seems, where I've always been - in deep limbo, trying to keep my balance, without the courage to pick a side and simply let myself fall. I've become such a hassle to myself, even though, to an outside spectator, my life may seem greater than ever before. I love, and I'd like to believe I am loved. I work and dream, and I'd like to think my labours will pay off. Why then this dreadful sensation that I am on the precipice of another storm? That I am about to be shaken and tossed from one extreme to the other, losing what I've gained, and losing so much more?