I need to calm my nerves and remind myself that the bigger picture eludes definition, and that if I want to survive the minuscule distractions of today, I have to make sure I don't lose sight of the path I have set upon. It is so easy to lose ones way, to wander the streets, thinking you know exactly where you're going, then ending up somewhere you can't recognise, somewhere that scares you, that makes you lose your mind. Even though I might be frightened that I might have to sacrifice the ones I love, I am pacified by the simple realisation that in the grand scheme of things - my life doesn't actually matter. My actions and emotions hold no sway. I shall be forgotten, my name will become as meaningless as the dust beneath my feet. I will slowly, but surely, drift into oblivion, be consumed by the darkness, become one with the void - and that my dear friends, is quite all right.
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He feels as if he is at his most vulnerable. Exposed. Naked. He has no armour. He is soft, easily broken. He lays bear and awaits destruction, for someone to swing out of the sky, and stab him with blades of moonlight. Instead of blood, a blue liquid shall pour from his veins - the remains of every star he ever dreamt of, and the ashes of the sun, as it disintegrated in the palm of his hands. It is finally evidently clear how deep his wounds really are, yet even amidst his agonizing fears, he tries to remember that vulnerability isn't the opposite of strength. It's a necessary part. He has to force himself to open up, to expose himself, to offer up everything he has, and just pray that it's good enough. Otherwise he'll never succeed.
