In order to understand, I destroyed myself.
Falling for someone is like pulling a loose thread. It happens stitch by stitch. You feel whole most of the time even while the seams pop, the knots loosen, everything that holds you together coming undone. It feels incredible, this opening of yourself to the world. Not like the unravelling it is. Only afterwards do you glance down at the tangle of string around your feet that used to be a person who was whole and self-contained and realise that love is not a thing that we create. It's an undoing. Luckily, in times like this, even as a young man not yet fully himself, Karr had two things besides indecision that kept him from self-destruction; this stupid thing that is still not a blog and above all a sense of irony. A way of laughing at himself that prevents the true tragedy of life to wash over him. A glimmer of happiness in this world filled with sadness. A spark. A moment lost in time - forever lost, and never his again.
