I'm trying to understand where exactly I made my initial mistake - trying to pinpoint the moment of no return. When the fabric of my dreams started to unravel and I set upon the trajectory that lead me to this instant in time. I go back to my earliest decisions, which plummeted me towards an uncertain life of a writer, yet I find no misdoings on my part. I wanted to be happy and I was willing to give up everything else in order to do so. The path was not easy, but surely right. Then ... slowly I move ahead, to the choices that shaped me most a person - running away, falling in and out of love, getting my heart broken, and breaking a few in turn. But even still, I find that I acted with the utmost respect and serenity I could have mustered. I held no grudges, at least not for long; I smiled when I wanted to cry, and I let them think that I moved on, even if it might have been easier to scream. So I am left with nothing at all. No clear mistake that would explain the void my mind wanders to as hours turn into days, and days turn into a lifetime. And if there is no reason, no reason at all, how does one break free? How does one survive?
