I wake up scared and I'm scared all day. Scared about the choices I made and how they will unfold. At one point I'm even scared of being scared. Scared of "losing it". Of everything I worked for falling from my grasp. Scared of being seen as the pretender I am and laughed at for the audacity of trying. Scared that I am not okay, not even a little bit, not even at all. Scared of what life is and if I am wasting mine. Scared that even the place I call home has no bottom to it and I will just keep falling under and under and under. Scared that it's all just one big lie I keep repeating to myself. And most of all, scared that all my dreams might actually come true.
