Wednesday, September 3, 2025

Worst case scenario...

If he truly had understood what that meant, that time runs out. he would have done it all so differently. Maybe you can't understand until you're the one standing on the brink. Maybe we're not meant to. Maybe it's some biological trick designed to keep us safe from the saber-toothed tiger, only now it keeps us building big homes and worrying about deadlines. Maybe we're not supposed to get that it will all be gone, we will all be gone - until it's too late to do anything about it. If life's a joke and death's the punch line, in any good setup, you never see it coming. Because if we did understand, we would spend it all in the sun with the grass between our toes. What else was the point? 


We're here, then we're not. And before that and after that, the mountains stay put and the waves keep crashing and the storms come and go and none of any of that is aware that for a brief, fleeting moment, we were here too. I was a part of it too. In some sort of way it's a relief to know that I don't matter. Understanding that brought me the first moment of peace I'd known since you had passed. Surely you must have seen that too? After all, you had walked ahead; I was the one just catching up. None of it, none of us, matter. And once you see it, once you get it, once you're free from the false belief that you think you have time, you can just enjoy it for what it is. And it is all so, so beautiful.