The shoe that changed everything...

Today seemed like any other day, until something as trivial as a shoe raised it to a day of redemption, a day of katarsa...

She who shall not be named, wore a shoe, which is decorated by a quite straight forward question: are you happy? And yet it is that very same shoe that I could not take my eyes of for over an hour...

It was like some karmic force was baiting me, taunting me...

After staring into the shoe I realised something about myself. I don't know what makes me happy. I don't even think I can recognise the feeling of being happy... Maybe I got it all wrong, maybe the path I walk is indeed in the wrong direction...

So what am I left with at the end of the day? Hope? A new challenge? Both? Or nothing at all? Just a faint memory of that damned shoe...

I will get you in the end, yes I will...

The one thing I always liked about myself was that when I decide to do something, I commit to it one hundred percent. And even though I sometimes don't get my heart's desire, at least I know I gave it my all...

They say that you can't always get what you want, but if you try, sometimes you get what you need. But what happens when you get what you want but not what you need?

I don't know it all, I'm learning as I go along. But one thing is certain, if nothing else, I am a man of devotion...

Mirror, mirror on the wall...

Did you ever look into a mirror and didn't recognise the person staring back at you? Ever had that happen for 4 years? I mean we all hear the stories how it's only a phase and how it gets better and how one day we wake up and it all magically seems ok...

Yet my reflection has been haunting me for an extremely long time and to be honest all those stories are full of bull. Things don't improve just like that, in fact they get worse. 4 years ago I thought it's all up hill from here. Boy was I wrong...

But I guess I can't complain about everything. There were moments when I believed, when I was hopeful, when I was confident. Now the question remains, where those glimpses enough to keep me going? Did they leave enough residue for me to be able to stare into a mirror and not think I'm a hazzard to myself?

Don't let me get me...