My flawed design...

And I will turn off,

and I will shut down,

burying the voices 

of my conscience hitting ground.

The chemicals are restless in my head.

I lie not because I want to,

but because I seem to need to all the time.

How can you say those things,

why can't you just believe?

I can only imagine what it would be like...

As she withdrew the knife from his back, still dripping from blood, he finally realised that the betrayer has finally become the betrayed. He fell to the ground and the whole world trembled. He wanted to turn around, to get one last look of the person holding the steel weapon, and as he mustered the strength to gaze over his shoulder, she was already gone. He wondered if perhaps she was never really there to begin with. But then, where did his wounds come from, and more importantly, who inflicted them? 

I think congratulations are in order. You are by far my biggest disappointment and I guess you were right all along. I hate that I care this much, and that you were able to catch me by surprise. You were supposed to be the one person I could really count on through all of this. You were supposed to be the one who would understand unlike anyone else. And the fucked up thing is that until now I believed you were. It just goes to show how much I still have to learn about people. That's what I'll take from this - a lesson. I guess I should be thanking you, and maybe one day I will, but tonight I shall mourn the friendship lost, and the opportunity for forever, destroyed. 

Blow me one last kiss...

As I brace myself for round two, I can't help but notice the similarities between the road already overcome and the one that lies before me. I've delt with these problems, these miniscule bumps in the road that make everyday life seem so difficult, so real. I hate that I still allow the little things to get to me, to shift my serenity, because if anything, the bigger picture always, without question, takes little notice of them. There is much I still need to do, and there are many things still floating in the air. But somehow, I'm not afraid anymore, I'm not anxious for the future to arrive. It will come when it's ready, and it shall test me when it feels like I have something to learn. So everything bad that might happen today, and everything bad that might happen tomorrow, is but a knock on the barrier which surrounds me. I wonder though, how strong it is, and how long it will last.