Love you like a love song...

I made a vow to wait until the end of this year. To wait until my heart was ready to beat again, to beat for someone else. Yet as it seems, that vow shall be broken, because not even I could have predicted that you'd ever come back into my life. When we first met, I thought you'd only be a passing ship, someone that would help me forget the memories that tormented my sleep, yet as it turned out, the potential of what we had the chance to be, haunts me unlike anything before. If this does not work out, I think you'll be the one that got away. That person I'll always look back to, and think; what if? What if I had fought harder, what if you'd stayed longer? What if we weren't so damaged and afraid? The story that is being written now is one I never imagined I'd be writing, but here I am, desperately trying with all my might to make you see, to make you realise that together, we're infinity.

The floodgates cannot hold...

It's been said and done,

every thought has been already sung,

and I guess right now, here's another one:

Your melody will play on and on,

you're beautiful, like a dream come alive, incredible,

sinful, miracle, lyrical,

you've saved my life again.

You are magical, lyrical, beautiful...

Ko čakanje postane edini čas, ki ga poznaš.

He could tell from your expression that you wanted to kiss him. That you wanted to hold him in your arms the way you did during the summer both of you will never forget, the way you had done a thousand times. The situation as a whole broke his heart to bits - yes he had been hoping, hoping with every ounce of his being that you have finally realised how stupid you've been, but deep down he knew there were other things at stake, other people to consider, and that perhaps he wasn't the most important fracture in this equation. Without a doubt, he has missed you, he has missed every part of you. Your darkest torments, and your brightest imperfections. He has missed the life you almost had together. But that wasn't enough, not anymore. This time you would have to fight for him, fight like you've never fought before. 

There is nothing left to see here, nothing left to read. I have been repeating myself for the last 5 years, and truly, I beg you to stop. You have watched me rise, and you have witnessed all my falls, and for the life of me, I still can't understand why any of you stick around. I am nothing special, and my story is boring as hell. Resowing the same patterns, not even bothering to introduce new characters - just a roller-coaster of my insecurities and simply ludicrous reactions. There are no answers here, no magical meaning - just a stupid boy, who never learned how to let go of those who let go of him. Perhaps it is finally time for us to part ways. But fear not, the person behind these words shall live on. He shall prosper, and he shall suffer in the same ways he always has. He will not die, for what you helped create here, will live on for eternity - just the way I planned.