A sinner or a saint...

I am sorry for a lot of things. I've hurt a lot of people over the years, some more than others, but what they all have in common is that none of them ever sought redemption, and being a vindictive person I find that hard to understand. Because if we don't settle old scores then our wounds can never truly heal, without vengeance there is no room for forgiveness, without forgiveness there is no way to move forward, past all the shitty things we've done to one another that make us scream out in agony and in pain, day after day...

I'm sorry. For everything. Every single time I said something that caused you to feel ashamed or less worthy. I'm sorry for letting my issues dictate how I live and how I interact with others. I'm sorry for not having the courage to tell you that you mean a lot to me and that I beat myself up every day for being so... distant... I'm sorry, I really am. I don't expect you to forgive and forget, I know I wouldn't. All I want to gain is some sort of self accomplishment, that I can objectively spot my mistakes and at least try to repent for the damage I've done...