A new dawn...

I always took pride in my ability to build up walls to keep people out, to draw lines in the sand in order to protect the few fragments of my heart that weren't fractured during these past 18 years. I make sure I back down as soon as things take a wrong turn. I predict every single scenario in order to be one step ahead of everyone else. Yet in a thousand years I couldn't have forseen what's about to unfold...

I think I fell in love. I'm not really sure though. I'd forgotten how it feels. Yet this strange voice inside keeps haunting me. Her image keeps appearing in my head, my past decisions keep tearing me up. But as luck will have it, I'm probably too late. It's too wierd to do anything right now, seeing as how I'm about to depart for, what feels like a lifetime coming. Strangely I'm not surprised. A situation like this reeks of something that would happen to me. Once again I have a choice, one that is not really mine to make...

I can't expect her to wait for me. I'm no even sure she feels the same. She might, or I could just be fooling myself all over again. I've pushed her and everyone else away far too many times. There is no hope for redemption, no hope for forgiveness. All I have left is the thing I chose so long ago. Sadly enough, that's actually the last choice I truly made by myself...