I don't write because I want to look into my soul. I write to see if I have a soul at all. And as I contemplate recent developments, I can hardly grasp the way things are about to unfold. We never think something like this could happen to us. We never think we could be the one who gets hit by lightning. But when the day comes, when we have to face our fleeting mortality, something changes within us. Something important. The problems we had, suddenly don't seem so scary anymore, and as I reexamine the people in my life, I realise we are friends more so because of necesity, than actual desire. And that thought terrifys me. It kills me. The truth and all the agony which comes with it, is right around the corner. So now I wonder; who is going to save the world tonight? Who shall bring me back to life?
When you died, I used to constantly look for people to replace you. Someone to talk to everyday, someone to believe in, someone to trust, someone to love, someone to have the time of my life with. I searched far and wide, and a few times I thought I stumbled upon the real deal. I could see the reflection of your face in their eyes, even if it was ever so distant. I could hear patterns of your voice when they spoke, and I could smell you faint presence, when we hugged goodbye. I stopped looking though. I learned some people really can't be replaced. I doubt I'll ever find someone better, and everytime I admit that, a piece of me washes away. In my darkest hour, I remind myself that I was lucky to spend any time with you at all, and then for the briefest of moments, I can breathe again.
When you died, I used to constantly look for people to replace you. Someone to talk to everyday, someone to believe in, someone to trust, someone to love, someone to have the time of my life with. I searched far and wide, and a few times I thought I stumbled upon the real deal. I could see the reflection of your face in their eyes, even if it was ever so distant. I could hear patterns of your voice when they spoke, and I could smell you faint presence, when we hugged goodbye. I stopped looking though. I learned some people really can't be replaced. I doubt I'll ever find someone better, and everytime I admit that, a piece of me washes away. In my darkest hour, I remind myself that I was lucky to spend any time with you at all, and then for the briefest of moments, I can breathe again.
