There are days, when I wake up in the middle of the night, and ask myself; where have I gone wrong? A voice quietly whispers; this is going to take more than one night. And then I laugh as loud as I possibly could, until I fall asleep again. This game we play, called life, is just so confusing to me. The rules keep changing, the scoreboard never seems even, and I find it difficult to identify a way to win. And if it's not about winning, then what is it about? I just have so many questions, still after everything. I need a new game plan, of that I am sure. I'm tired of feeling like I have to beg people to be my friends, to be nice to me, to show me they care. I'm not giving up though. I'm sure they're out there, I just need to find them, and then try my best not to drive them away. Perhaps someone as flawed as me or maybe someone who has it all figured out. Or simply someone, who's willing to fight for me, someone who doesn't make me want to run, but gives me every reason to stay.
At the beginning of this year, I was petrified and confused, so I made a steep turn left. Right through the bushes and trees into the decrepit abyss of the unknown. As the wildlife slowly creeps in to devour me, I let loose a silent scream. It is far from over. Mark my words when I say that the fury of battle, the sincerity of life, and the amusement of freefall, have just begun.
