Coming right back home to you...

I'm better, so much better now...

The problem with making wishes, is that sometimes, against all odds, against all reason, they come true. What do we do then? How do we react? I've so gotten used to feeling a certain way that I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to do now. Where do I go, and more importantly, how do I get back? I'm scared that I made the wrong choice again and I'm petrified that I'll wake up three years from now, like I did not so long ago, and feel exactly the way I did, when I decided to burn everything to the ground. What if this path leads me down a road I've already walked?

"Perhaps this is who we're meant to become," she said, with that stupid grin on her face. "Maybe there is no right answer, and we just have to believe," she whispered as he fell into her arms. He built himself up, and now that he stands taller than ever, he wonders how long he can keep balance. For a split second he finds himself whole, yet somehow he still feels stuck together by reality, and torn apart by his dreams. He is happier, more stable, but still so far from what he can be, what he wants to be. The future is approaching faster than ever before, and as he starts swimming into the unknown regions of the watery abyss, his heart beats in the rythem of the ocean. For the first time in his life, his wounds no longer linger, and all he feels is hope for what may be, and everything that one day will.

Take me to the city by the bay...

I've been high,

I've been low,

I've been yes,

and I've been oh hell no.

I've been rock and roll and disco,

won't you save me, San Francisco?

Learning to live half alive...

Tko je ... spet sm na robu,
tik pred prepadom,
tik pred končnim poklonom,
tik pred preprostim razpadom.

Gledam tja v daljavo
in vidim obraze, ki so me porinili do tu.
Krivim usodo in življenje in peklene laži,
krivim njega in njo in vse pofukane ljudi.
Najbolj pa krivim samega sebe,
moje zaklete sanje in moje zadete oči.

Tko je ... jutri se prihodnost začne,
jutri se prebudim iz snu,
jutri se tkanina končno odvije,
jutri je die ali do.

I belong to the night...

One day he shall look back at this time and smile. He shall laugh and reminisce about the road overcome and the journey embarked upon. One day it won't hurt as much when he thinks of the memories formed today, and perhaps one day he will be able to move past the pain. He didn't recognise the place he once called home - something was different, so very different. He couldn't explain it, he couldn't figure out what it was. All he knew was that his heart was no longer there and his soul craved for the life he never got to live. As he started burning to the ground, he felt the world tremble beneath his feet. Something beyond his comprehension is about to happen. something greater than him. He now realises that he built himself up, so he could break again. That's where he feels safe, that's where he feels at home.

The show must go on...

I'm not ready yet, I'm not prepared to go home, even if it is for just five days. Life is giving me little choice. The future I dream about everyday is begging to be lived, and I would never forgive myself if I didn't try my best to achieve it. Now I can honestly say that it is no longer about the destination, all that matters is the journey, and if nothing else, this ride has been one for the books.

You have watched me fall to rock bottom and beyond, and you have seen me through my struggle to rebuild a new me, a greater me. For that I shall be more thankful than you'll ever know, and I would have never imagined that something which started out as ramblings of another broken heart, would turn out to be the one thing that keeps my heart beating. As the final chapter of this story approaches, I lose my breath and time freezes still. At the edge of the world, I know for certain, I know for sure that it's now or never.

Can't wait to burn it to the ground...

All I need is the one thing I cannot find.

Find me chasing the sun...

One thing you should know about me, is that I don't fall in love with people, I fall in love with their stories, and as it turns out, you've got one hell of a tale. It's a miracle you're still standing really. Our narratives are different, but I think somehow we both understand each other's, almost as if we've read them before. So with a single brush of the pen we find ourselves interwoven within the fabric of our collective consciousness. The borders of our past journey start losing their edge until there is nothing in between us. Just you and me, and the epic saga we have just begun.

I'm better, so much better now. She'd take one look at me, and burst from pride. I just know it. I see the light, and I'm walking towards it with full force. If these last months have taught me anything, is that there is no wall I cannot tear down, there is no obstacle big enough to stop me. And while I'm still in limbo, I'm not afraid to fall anymore. I left so that I can come back, so that I could grow beyond my limitations and transform into the person I always knew I could be, should be, wanted to be. Soon, very soon it will be clear how far I've come, and how far I still need to go. I dare not say about you, but I for one, can't wait to see how this ends.

You're my broken hallelujah...

I can't take one more step towards you,

because all that's waiting is regret.

Don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore,

because I lost the love I loved the most.

You're just running around leaving scars,

collecting your jar of hearts.

But I've learned to live half alive,

and now you want me one more time.

Lets set the world on fire...

Sometimes things work out, they really do. Because when you realise that you have the strength to accept the things you cannot change, the courage to change the things you can, and the wisdom to know the difference, suddenly the world becomes so much simpler, clearer. I don't try to be perfect anymore, and I make mistakes more often than I ever did, yet strangely I can't remember the last time I felt so free. It's easy as long as you manage to be patient, and overcome thoughts of disbelief. It might not last long, heck, it may be gone tomorrow, but tonight I shall smile at the pain of the past, I shall laugh at the sorrows of today, and I shall smirk at the challenges of the future, for tonight, happiness is all around.

Goodbye means nothing at all...

I forgot to tell you ... I'm in love again. And it's the kind I would not have ever dared to imagine. I didn't expect for it to happen in the middle of nowhere surrounded by lost souls, yet I found myself gasping for air in the presence of one. Nothing had the chance to happen, as we were torn apart by circumstances before we really had the opportunity to explore what might be. So I was left heartbroken and alone, but as it seems, the universe is perhaps giving me another shot, another chance to be bold, and reach for the stars. While the odds may not be in my favour, you should know that has never stopped me before.

The leaves change, and I am still the boy who loves to dream. Somehow I thought my expression gave away that I wanted to kiss you, that I wanted you to hold me. I had hoped you would realise the potential I saw from the beginning, and maybe act upon it. I had wished for us to share a moment we would remember forever, and a memory we would take to the grave and beyond. I had conjured many fantasies in my head, all of which still haunt me in my dreams. Praying for us to end up together, is like expecting rain when you're out in the desert. Yet here I am, as always, wanting the impossible.

Right back to the start...

Sometimes you have to go halfway around the world 

to come full circle.

I'm running out of time. Days go by so fast that I have trouble keeping up. New challenges to overcome, new people to learn from, and old habits to shake, make this journey overwhelming. All that I am, all that I ever was seems so far away, yet I know that when the universe decides to unravel the knots of my future, it does so with full force, knocking me out of balance. Soon, very soon it shall be clear where I'm meant to go. In the meantime this is all we have, this is all I can give. And while the process of being broken down and rebuilt feels endless, I realise the end is closer than I might think. I spend nights imagining every scenario I can think of, even though reality always has a way of sneaking up on me. So I lay in the grass, alone but not lonely, and trying to forget the world.

Once upon a time we fell apart...

Could have had a castle and worn a ring.

The quiet screams the truth...

Was it something I did,

was it something you said?

I was held up so high,

on such a breakable thread,

and I thought I could be everything.

It was meant to be,

supposed to be,

but I lost it.

All this time they were pretending,

so much for my happy ending.

When the light hits my eyes...

The road must be trod with vines, stones, and potholes. It has to be hard, or the end isn't worth it. Neither strength nor wisdom can carry you far upon it, and there is little distinction between the weak and the powerful. The only thing that matters is your resolve and your determination to dream beyond reason and logic. Those insane enough to persist against all odds, against all hope, those are the ones who finish first, who finish at all. 

I may not be learning a lot, but I am learning a little, and with each passing day, I feel as if I've grown. Inch by inch, step by step, I'm walking towards an uncertain future. Nothing is sure anymore, nothing is real, yet I remain firmly on my path, even though I have no idea where it leads. It may take me to her, or back to him, or perhaps to someone entirely new. I really have no clue, and I've long given up on trying to figure it out. Now I just get lost in moments, and imagine myself on a beach watching the sunset. I imagine the waves bursting on the shore, and I imagine the smell of the sea filling my soul. Sometimes I wish for the rain to wash me away, and with me, the pain of yesterday. A single drop in the ocean reminds me where I've been, and where I may one day go. For an instant, heaven doesn't seem so far away.

Boy, interrupted...

Just tonight I will stay,

and we'll throw it all away.

I watch the clock, 

as it ticks away my time.

Just tonight I will lie,

and you'll believe.

I am through, 

and it's all because of you.