In order to move on
you must understand why you felt what you did
and why you no longer need to feel it.
Time passes, and I move further away from the disappointment of days gone by. I form new bonds, make bigger mistakes, and succeed in ways I never did before, yet the ghosts of who we were and who we had the potential to be, haunt me still. I am torn between completely shutting down or rising above the occasion. I can feel myself slipping away, needing only a shove to revert back to old patterns. I try to hold it together though. Before I fall asleep I whisper words that saved me long ago, hoping their power will shed the darkness as I awake. I am caught in a burning war and I'm waiting for something, anything really, to extinguish the fire. I'm not afraid to get burnt, I'm just terrified of suffocating from the smoke and demons that light the flames. I have survived worse, I know, but I can't figure out why this, this of all things, seems to have cut deeper than I could have ever predicted.
I really don't think there's any worse sensation than feeling like you're stuck. I was so sure I was finally on my way, but it seems I wasn't worth enough to be given a second chance, to be loved despite of my shortcomings. The fact that both extremes failed me, that I failed both of them, leaves me with little options. I've never been one for middle ground and as it is now clearly evident, I am meant to march this journey alone. Never lonely, yet always quietly hoping for company. But that's why I have this, that's why I have all of you. In union we grow, we learn, we comfort each other and we make sure that even when everything crumbles to the ground, there are helping hands digging us out from the gutter. This time shall pass, as yesterday has passed, and as this very moment is passing right now. We will get through this. We will get through it together.
I really don't think there's any worse sensation than feeling like you're stuck. I was so sure I was finally on my way, but it seems I wasn't worth enough to be given a second chance, to be loved despite of my shortcomings. The fact that both extremes failed me, that I failed both of them, leaves me with little options. I've never been one for middle ground and as it is now clearly evident, I am meant to march this journey alone. Never lonely, yet always quietly hoping for company. But that's why I have this, that's why I have all of you. In union we grow, we learn, we comfort each other and we make sure that even when everything crumbles to the ground, there are helping hands digging us out from the gutter. This time shall pass, as yesterday has passed, and as this very moment is passing right now. We will get through this. We will get through it together.
