Monday, April 26, 2010

The heavens tremble...

I did it it today. I let go. After all this time, she's gone. I didn't even see it coming, it just happened. I know I said it was over so many times before, but this time, it's different. Because before I hated her for what she did. She built me up only to tear me down. Yet today I woke up and I couldn't feel anything anymore. No more hatred, no more anger, nothing. And then I realised something; the opposite of love isn't hate, it's apathy. I don't care anymore and I'm okay with that. Because for the first time in what feels like forever, I'm actually excited for what's to come...

The one thing I regret though, is all the people I lost during my healing period. Some of them I can never get back, some will never forgive me, most have moved on. But again strangely enough, I'm ok with that. It had to happen, we had to go through it, so we can be here now, standing tall and proud, looking back at what we achieved, at what we let go and most importantly who we gained. I would like to think I made a difference somewhere along the way, on someone, on anyone. It's what all of us really want, to feel like we're important to someone, that we're needed. It gives us power to move forward, to touch more lives in our own unique way...

To everyone who stood by me - you have my thanks, because without you I wouldn't have got over this. To those of you who brushed me off - you have my gratitude as well, because without you I wouldn't have seen who my real friends are. And lastly to those who I have hurt - I am sorry. You didn't deserve to go through that and I promise you all, I'll try my hardest for it to never happen again...