I've never really belonged anywhere. I've always been the outcast. It doesn't matter how much I try, it doesn't matter how many times I try to redefine myself - I'm always the one looking in, instead of being in. I think that's why I'm taking this risk now. It doesn't have so much to do with how I feel, it has more to do with my desire to be a part of something. A group of people who embrace my every quirk, every quality and most of all, people who accept that I am flawed and love me despite of, or maybe even because of my imperfections. I have failed, as I knew I would. But with failure comes crystallisation. I'm supposed to be doing something different. I need to figure out what that is, before I lose myself again. I can't go back to that place. I never want to be that person again. Yet the more I run from who I was, the more I'm becoming who I don't want to be.
I inhale the fiery breeze, and as I walk closer to the flames, she appears by my side. A fleeting image of what once was and everything that was sacrificed to get here. She smiles, because she knows she won. I too, find the irony hysterical, so amid the blazing scorch, a wave of laughter fills the void. Like old friends, we hold each other as we walk towards the core and await the final lie. A single tear drops down my cheek A tear of joy, sorrow and everything in between. "There was so much more, I wanted to do," I think to myself. In that very moment I fall to the ground with as many regrets as the stars in the sky. Life, it seems, has passed me by.
