You were right. There really isn't anything I can say. I wish I could. I wish I could somehow make this easier for you, because in the back of my mind I think it's my fault. I'm the one who pushed you, I'm the one who planted this idea in your head, and so I'm just as responsible. I'm sorry, I really am. I hope you don't punish me forever. I was just so sure you'd get it. I can't even express how sure I was. But I guess it goes to show how little I know about this world. Good things don't always happen to good people, and try as you might, some things just aren't meant to go your way. I hope you don't lose faith, because even after everything I still believe in you.
But at least now, you know what you want. As for me, I still have no idea. I wish on every star in the sky for answers to my questions, for something to put faith in, for someone to hold. I have absolutely no control over myself, and that scares me like hell. Still stuck in this place between the past and the future, wishing I was miles away. It feels like I'm so far from home, so far from everything I know and love. The uncertainty just tears me to bits. I wonder how many people don't end up with the life they want, but with the life they're supposed to have. I wonder that a lot. But mostly I wonder where do I go from here. Which path should I take? The exact burning desires I had not so long ago, the same ones I still don't know how to achieve...
