He is no longer who he once was, and yet who he's meant to be. So he remains somewhere in transition, floating through the mist of everything he destroyed. He tried to convince himself it wasn't true, that there's still time, but he can no longer deny that there truly is no going back. They can never forgive what he's done, and he can never forget the words which were thrown at him when he left. As teers creep into his eyes he takes a deep breath, and tries to imagine a world where everything is resolved and the future no longer seems so grim. For a split second he sees himself on that beach from long ago, he sees Her, and he can hear Her voice. The waves shatter the illusion and he is instantly transported back to his reality. There is but one single tear pouring down his cheek.
Days like today remind me how far I've come, what I've given up to get here, and how much I still need to gain. I've made many mistakes, most of which I can never repent for, and I feel as if there's nothing I can do to make them see how hard I'm trying to keep it together, to not fall apart, to not prove them right. I never wanted to push us this far, yet here we are, and there's little any of us can do to repair the damage that's been done. We're just too different, too unique. So tonight I drown myself in the new friends I've met, and in the substances I've always held dear. It won't solve anything, I know, but tonight isn't about fixing my problems, it's about trying to forget them.
Days like today remind me how far I've come, what I've given up to get here, and how much I still need to gain. I've made many mistakes, most of which I can never repent for, and I feel as if there's nothing I can do to make them see how hard I'm trying to keep it together, to not fall apart, to not prove them right. I never wanted to push us this far, yet here we are, and there's little any of us can do to repair the damage that's been done. We're just too different, too unique. So tonight I drown myself in the new friends I've met, and in the substances I've always held dear. It won't solve anything, I know, but tonight isn't about fixing my problems, it's about trying to forget them.
