I think I need to be alone for a while, if for nothing else, just to make sure I still can. I used to take pride in my ability to single-handedly withstand anything life may throw my way, but after relying on so many different people for so long, I feel as though I've lost this inherent connection to myself. What scares me most is that now that I've had a taste of it, I won't be able to live without it. It's funny how even after all this time, the universe still has an uncanny way of teaching me lessons - ones I thought I would never need to learn, and those I always knew were coming. I don't think I've ever been as impatient as I am at this very moment in time. As so many souls morph into their true colours, I am left wanting and hoping for an easy way out, for a simple way to ease the pain placed upon me. I realise now that such wishes are misguided, for my life has always been like running a race with no finish line, always gasping for air yet somehow always marching forward, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
There's a land I've heard of once in a lullaby she sang to me. It's a land where all my dreams actually come true. It's a place where blue birds fly over the rainbow, and if they can do it, why can't I? It's a world filled with endless streams of souls, each and every one walking towards a common goal. It's a grassland covered in flowers and kept warm by soothing rays of sunlight. It's the ocean and the waves and the calm breeze muffling my hair as I lay on the beach of broken dreams. It's everything I ever wanted, and nothing I ever imagined. It's your look in the morning and your safe embrace at night. It's something I'll strive for until the end of time, something I'll forever want to discover and claim as my own. And once I find this mystical land, I shall share it with all of you, and in a flash of shared experience, the world will make sense unlike ever before.
