I find ways to do it. You can be sure of that. There are always resources out there, which you can use to make yourself feel better, ever if for just a second. I mean everything we do is temporary. Nothing really sticks, at least not in ways that truly matter. I can't believe I'm so superficial. The funny part is that I might actually go through with it. Who would have thought that the mighty Karr can so easily succumb to societal norms and values of how we should alter ourselves in order to be percieved as individuals, who supposedly have some imaginary worth. I am weak. I always knew that about myself, but I try to use that weakness in order to get what I think I want...
She would be so furious with me right now. I can just imagine all the things she would say. She wouldn't cut me any slack and rightly so. Yet even she wouldn't understand. I have to do something. If I don't do it now, I might lose my shot. Most people have a hard time going after what they want. I have the opposite problem. I have all the strength in the world to pursue my dreams, if only I knew what the hell they were...
