Full speed ahead...

It's all starting to become too much. I know this is what I asked for, well sort of asked for, but I never wanted things to get so public. Don't get me wrong, I want everyone to know. To know of what I acomplished, to know that I was better than all of them. Yet there comes a point where the constant exposure simply morphs into this web of constant attention, which I can't seem to enjoy. I guess I'm afraid of how they'll perceive me after all is said and done. It's sad that I still care so much about what they think of me, of what she thinks of me...

People will think what they want to think. The damage has been done. I just wish there was a way for them to get a glimpse of what I truly represent, at least that way when someone hates me, they hate the real me, not some construed public image I unwillingly created. I hate myself for caring so much. I hate them even more for making me care. All in all, the situation is pretty screwed up...

What lies ahead is uncertain. The possibilites are endless, even more so than usual. But for the first time, the fact that everything is undecided, doesn't scare me, it excites me. All I know is that I have to be strong for what is to come...