For the last 5 years I would spend this day in accordance to her beliefs and as such I had a simple ritual. I would get up, lie to my parents about going somewhere, then I'd go to dead man's crossing and I'd light a candle to celebrate her life and everything she gave and took to make me the man I am today. But as I sat infront of her eternal resting place, something didn't feel right. I'd usually just lay there for an hour, and talk about my life and everything that happened. I'd tell her about my failures, my achivements, my broken heart and mostly how much I missed her. Yet today, as I was staring at the heart of an unlit candle, I realised that this year, I don't really have anything to say...
I just watched the candle burn, for what felt like ages. No thoughts, no emotions, no movement. Just an empty soul, tired of everything and everyone. If nothing else, I made a vow. Next year I'll have so many things to tell, I'll have to spend a whole day there. It's going to be a tough year, of that I am sure. Uncertain paths, indestructible obstacles, and a lot of work. But I'm hoping that along the way, I get to have some fun and meet a lot of interesting people, who will undoubtedly change my perspective of the world. And maybe I even stumble onto the person I've been waiting for my whole life...
