This is not reality, this is a dream...

I want to know your name...

Sound is my remedy...

To cold for me to keep her,

to hot for me to leave her.

I won't stop until the sun is up.

I'm misused, misconstrued,

I don't need to be saved,

I'm stuck in the rain...

It's an addiction, such an eruption...

I wish that I could make him realize that he's worthy of being loved, that he could be someone's world, that somebody thinks of him every single night before they go to bed and every single morning when they wake up. That someone nearly dies with yearning thinking of his arms around them. That somebody loves him more than anything because he's fantastic - he is that special.

I may not believe it right now, in the midst of all this pain, but things will get better. They have to. And it may not seem possible, in the midst of all this heartache, but I will look back and smile at the memories that are tearing me apart right now. The things I went through, both good and bad, will give me reasons to grow in the future. Not only to grow, but to laugh, to smile, to feel the love all over again, and to remember that even though it was a crazy ride, it was a wonderful one. And my life,

no matter how messy it may seem right now, will be a beautiful picture. One that without any of the memories, wouldn't be the complete masterpiece it will be then.

Sometimes we have to be broken down, so we can be rebuilt into what we're actually meant to be...

By the time the last petal fell...

You know the one that got away? The one who fucked you up? The one who broke your heart? The one you swore you would love forever? That person, who becomes not even a person anymore, but this overwhelming being, this sense of loss which you carry with you everywhere you go, haunting your dreams. They are not worth it! Seriously, stop crying right now. Maybe you cannot see it yet, but people who treat you badly, are bad...

I don't know what it is about you. Maybe it's the way nothing else matters when we're talking, or how you make me smile like no one else. I think there's going to be a part of me that's going to be in love with you for the rest of my life. It could be how you say the right thing at exactly the right time. But whatever it is, I want you to know, it means everything to me. I just wish love would be enough to go head to head with all the barriers in our way. That it could tear down the obstacles I know we'll face. There was always something missing. Now I think maybe, that something, was you...

People love in different ways. There's no right way to do it, but there are definitely wrong ways of doing it. We know better than anyone just how true that can be. We are told to wait for "the one" to come to us. But what if "the one" is waiting for me? A tragedy fit for this story, for this journey of two souls, bound together by something as simple as hope. If he could learn to love another, and earn their love in return, then the spell would be finally broken...

To die will be an awfully big adventure...

There is still something left that's worth fighting for. Something better, someone better. Do you ever put your arms up and just spin and spin and spin? Well that's what life is like. Every single cell inside your body tells you to stop before you fall, but you just keep going. Because it's only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything...

You never asked me to wait for you and I don't even know if you want me to, heck, I don't know if I want to. But something is telling me that when we find each other again, I'm going to be exactly who you want and you're going to be the person I dream about day after day. At that moment, you will realise I've been here all this time, and you will wonder why you didn't want me all along. There we will sit for eternity. Never talking, never moving, just sitting in silence, together as we were always meant to be...

Honesty, if you're not willing to sound stupid, you don't deserve to be in love. It won't get easier. As we grow up, so do the people around us and with growth comes emotional baggage and with it a whole set of complications. Sometimes all you can do is laugh, because really, if life's not fun, it's not worth living...

Dirty little freaks...

I'm having the time of my life,

I never felt like this before

and I swear this is true

and I owe it all to you...

We'll find each other in the dark...

You know, I don't think I'll ever be happy. Wherever I am, I'll always wish I'd be someplace else. Whatever I'll have, I'll always want something different. I gave it my heart, and that's all I can give, if that's not enough, then I'm not enough...

Ne vem več kaj hočem,

ne vem več kaj bom,

ne prepoznam več resnice,

ne vem več od kod mi meso.

Ostaja bežni spomin, pa tista knjiga,

še veš ka si napisala not?

Sam povej mi, starim časom v čast,

še kdaj dvomiš? se še kdaj sprašuješ?

al si že pozabla vse? al še uničuješ?

Spet iščem, gledam, si dopovedujem,

more bit nekje, preprosto more.

Mogoče spet se z mene norce dela,

mogoče spet cilja pod kolena.

Čas je že, se ti ne zdi?

Čas dobiti čas nazaj, čas da h času vrnem se,

čas da spet okusm, tist prekleti čas,

ko vse se ustavi, ko vse okamni,

ko te pogledam, ko ti pogledaš mene,

srce zastane, vsak dih zaskeli.

Pišem čeprov sm utrujen,

pišem še malo naprej,

zaprem uči za trenutek,

pišem še malo naprej...

Time is never time at all...

I'm beginning to suspect that the moment I've been waiting for, doesn't require waiting and the things I'll remember most, won't be things at all. It's good to be scared, it means you still have something to lose. But as I stand here, wasted from life, I wonder how does a boy who jumps into a rabbit hole plumeting into chaos come out unchanged. The answer; he doesn't. Have you noticed how it's never something huge that changes everything, but instead it's the tiniest of details, irrevocably tweaking the balance of the universe while you're busy focusing on the big picture...

What I've come to learn is that above all, I have to watch with glittering eyes the whole world around me, because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places and if I don't believe in magic, I will never find it. It's happening again, I knew it would, I just never thought it would be this intense. It has disaster written all over it and of course, the reason we all love will never be known and I hope it never is, because really, where's the fun in that?

It's just so overwhelming to start at the beginning again. So much to prove, so much still to gain. And for the first time, since it all started, I'm not so sure I'll make it. Things aren't going according to my plan. They never quite do, but I always seemed to see a greater meaning behind every failure. Now, as I gaze upon the mountain I have to conquer, I can't stop wondering if the view will really be worth it...

Forgotten, but somehow, never alone...

A person is an absolute fool to become a writer,

his only compensation is absolute freedom...

Almost there...

The time has come for me to decide, if I'm going to settle with what I have or if I should fight for what I care about. The truth is, there's nothing to be afraid of. It's just life. Because it's only when you're tested, that you discover who you are, that you discover who you can be. The person you can be does exist, beyond the hard work, faith, belief and beyond the heartache and fear of what lies ahead...

Maybe this is some sort of trial for me, to see what I'm made of. At the end of it, maybe I'll be judged on how I've handled myself and I think I'll only pass the test if I act with honour, if I try my best to do the right thing. If I don't do things out of greed or ambition or hatred. If I keep challenging my decisions against my own beliefs, if I try to be brave and honest and fair. I don't have to be perfect, as long as I keep trying to be perfect, I think I'll make it...

Sometimes you have to be brave, you have to be strong. Sometimes you just can't give in to thoughts of failure. You have to beat down those devils that get inside your head and try to make you panic. You have to struggle along, putting one foot a little bit ahead of the other and hoping that when you go backwards it won't be too far. So when you start going forward again, you won't have so much to catch up. For after all, the best thing one can do when it's raining outside; is to simply let it rain...

Lets go all the way...

We all need a way to reduce stress, the tension. Because sooner or later life just becomes too much to bear. If the pressure doesn't find a way out, it will make one - it will explode. But for me, the biggest pressure is the one I put on myself. The pressure to be better than I already am, to be better than I think I can be. It never lets up, it just builds and builds until I'm lying on the floor screaming my heart out...

How are you fine? How are you just competely fine? It's as if you didn't feel the same things or even worse. I'm still looking for answers, even though most of the time they're hidding just under the surface. Sometimes they catch me by surprise and they always leave as many questions as they take. You went through the scariest thing a person can go through, yet you survived. Now you're telling me you're afraid to jump?

I want to grow up, I'm desperate to get there, even though I know that growing up sometimes means leaving people behind. And by the time you're standing on your own two feet, you're standing there alone. I don't want to be by myself anymore, I don't want to sacrifice anything else. Because no matter how big of a freak I turn out to be, I know there's someone out there for me. I'm going to live the teenage dream, just you wait...

Tonight we'll throw it all away...

There's a man who's telling me I might be dead...

It's not about where you go. It's about what you do when you get there. I realised that today and as so many times before, I didn't even see it coming. As I watched you disappear into my head I finally understood why I never really needed to be saved. I don't know what I've done to me and I don't know what I'm into, but I can't help thinking that the next 4 years are going to answer more questions than I ever thought possible...

My one mistake, was that I let you down. I was supposed to be better, you deserved better. Maybe if we met at a different time, when I was ready. Maybe I wouldn't have been so afraid. Now as I gaze onward, into the future, so many things are uncertain, so many things are out of my control. Some call it freedom, others a cage, for me it's a promise. A promise to myself, that when I'll know someone is right, that someone is the one, I won't find excuses to not make it work...

So here I am again. Putting myself out there. Tomorrow I find out if I have what it takes. I want to enforce progress, I want to lead, I want to change the world around me. A few weeks ago, those were just dreams of a lost teenager. Now, as I'm taking actual steps to be who I set out to be, I feel an overwhelming sense of joy. Even if I don't make it tomorrow, I know I'll find another way, because really, this is what I was meant to do, this is who I was meant to be...

I'll lie and you'll believe...

I take a lot of things for granted. I'm never satisfied and I take that as a blessing and a curse. I always want to be more, to experience more, to achieve more, yet there comes a point when all I want to be is myself. But I think these battles are the ones keeping me sane...

You were the only thing that was real to me. We all wear masks, everyone, everyday. Sometimes we wear them so much we forget who we are. And sometimes, if we're lucky, someone comes along and shows us who we really want to be, who we should be. You were that person for me. On the first day of our story, our future seemed so bright. I don't know why I'm still surprised it turned out the way it did. I think it was something we had to go through, something we had to endure...

Do you ever get the feeling you've missed your chance at true love? Like you somehow screwed it up and now it's never going to happen. We sit and wait for things to unfold, to fall in love, to be loved, yet it seems to never come. Maybe my expectations are just too high. Maybe amid all the sacrifices I made, to reach the stars, I unknowingly destroyed any chance at love. But it was not I who left, it was you with your unfailing faith. With your magical smile and godly eyes. It was you who killed the lovers heart and my heart in turn...

You're miss nothing, I'm mister everything...

Here we are and I can't think from all the pills.

Here we are and I can't see straight.

Here we are and you're too drunk to hear a word I say.

But I'm too numb to feel right now,

yet still here I am, watching the clock that's ticking away.

Just tonight, it's telling me I'm right...

It can't be true, it just can't...

All things manifest from nothing. Leave space, lots of space, in your life. Start the car and take me home, so we can throw it all away. When the light hits my eyes, something is telling me I knew all along. I can't graps it, there must be another explaination. I couldn't possibly have... No. It makes no sense, yet it makes all the sense in the world. But why now? Why me? Why did I believe?

Do you understand who I am? Do you understand what I can do? There's no way, it... can take me down, even if it does exist. If this is some sort of joke, it's a bit cruel don't you think? If it isn't, then you truly weren't kidding when you said, life has a way of testing us when we least expect it. So many scenarios running through my head, yet none of them seem to end with me getting past this. You didn't prepare me for this, you never said something like this could even be a possibility. You should have been more aware of where I was going, so you could have steared me in the other way. It's because of you that I'm here today...

I can't even see straight anymore. I need an answer to this, someone to tell me, it's all just in my head, that I'm fine. It's too soon to say goodbye, to say farewell, to sing my swan song. I'm too numb to feel right now, so just for tonight lets pretend like we're together. Just for tonight, just for a moment, for a second even. Lets pretend we're happy, you know, like we always dreamt of?