Kot da me sploh ne bi bilo.
Kot da bi bil senca svoje sence,
ki izginja v svoji nenavzočnosti.
My greatest flaw, my absolutely biggest inadequacy is that I don't lead my life like most - striving for goals or reaching for connections. I live my life like a story I would one day wish to tell, and as it turns out, living like that strays one down a very dark path. I change my mind at a whim, I pretend to care when I really don't, and worst of all, I give the illusion of love even though it's nowhere to be found. The saddest part is that all I am left with at the end of the day are words on pieces of paper that no one will ever read. I have banished every obsession except the one I am laying before you, because it is so deeply rooted in my consciousness that I don't even know how to start. I try to find its strands of birth, how it came to be that the boy who wanted the sun, decided he'd rather write about the adventure to get there, than actually trying to sprout his wings and fly towards the sky. I ponder my decisions, events in my past, and all the circumstances I had to overcome, yet the answers elude me still. Perhaps this is just who I am, who I'll always remain. A boy writing instead of living, a boy who'd rather go down with this ship, than raise his white flag and erase the words dooming him to a forever lonesome existence.
