Four walls are not enough...

I find it increasingly difficult to distinguish between signs the universe throws my way, so I ponder if they're even signs at all? I guess my frivolous attempt to understand everything and everyone at every single turn, made me see connections where there really aren't any. I convince myself there's matter behind the madness, and that despite evidence, there is a watchful eye glooming above me. Perhaps the biggest secret of them all, is that there is no secret, no hidden meanings, no truths to uncover - simply a life given, just so that it can be taken away.

Can you hear me? Do you understand what I'm here to say? Do you even care? As silent spectators you cast judgement where there is none to be had, and none even expected. As a ball recoiling from the wall, and back again, I keep coming here, to my impenetrable fortress of loneliness. I keep writing despite not truly writing anything. I'm not even sure if I'm a writer anymore, or for that matter, if I ever was. Words fall on deaf ears, and if no one can find meaning in them, then it's as if I sang a requiem to the dead souls walking across the narrow boulevard of broken hearts. I am nothing without you, without your approval, without your acceptance, without your understanding. I am a shadow, following anyone who would be willing to listen, who could wait a moment and try to unravel my thoughts, my inner most demons, my graceless fears. I am you.