No one can prepare you for the thrill you feel when you go against every value you hold dear. The deeper I plunge in, the clearer it becomes that this was a path I was always meant to walk. I just needed a push, and you pushed me further than I'll ever allow anyone again. Perhaps this is a downward spiral I'll never recover from, and maybe that's just fine. I mean if one road does not lead to where you need to be, the other surely must, right? The voices of the dead echoed through the silent night, and the truth was clearly evident - if she saw me now, she would be so disappointed with me, with who I'm becoming, and more importantly, who I'm not. The world I'm discovering makes me rethink everything I thought I knew, and I think there's so much more I need to learn. Tell me, do you think fools like me can find their way out of the dark or are we destined to walk in the shadows, eternally trying to find the light that inexplicably eludes our grasp? Nothing makes sense, and I'm afraid nothing ever will again.
He knows he tracks a troubled thread, and that the only way forward, is through. His thoughts are hard to focus, and he acts without reason or necessity. He wonders if he shall regret the mistakes he makes today, or if he'll ever wish he'd never given up. The stories he experiences at the brink of consciousness fuel his art, his passion for life, and his resolve to create, to make a difference. You would not even recognise him - he is no longer the boy you all fell in love with, he is something far more sinister. He is exactly what you despise, and he is the complete opposite of what you expected him to become. He has transformed into the anti-hero, the character in the play everyone wants to defeat, the monstrosities hiding in you closet, and the cautionary tale you'll tell the ones you'll love after him. He is your biggest mistake, and your greatest regret. He failed as a friend, as a first love, as love all together. He has failed, that is for sure.
